I can't believe how long it's been since I've written. It's not that I don't think about you, it just seems that life carries on and as long as I'm trudging through life things hurt a little less. April of this year was hard, as was Mother's and Father's day. Even with Sullivan around I still feel a hole in my heart that will never heal. The hardest day in a long time was Sunday. We were at church and the teacher passed out stories to read. Wouldn't you know it but the story I was to read was about a women who lost her baby and her priest refused to give the child a Christian burial. She was still having problems dealing with this 3 years later in the story. Being that it's been 3 years it hit a little close to home. I tried but I was unable to finish reading the story and passed it off to someone else and left the room. I read the story silently before I was to read it out loud and I thought I could do it.
Lately I've been dealing with another problem which I'm even embarrassed to put on a blog with people reading. I've begun to have moments of thinking that I'm glad things worked out the way they did because I don't think there is anyway that we would have had Sullivan if you were alive. I feel a really big attachment to him and I feel guilty even thinking that. I wouldn't trade him for anything but I'd also do anything to have you with us. What do you do?
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