Father's day....

Dear Sawyer,

Today has been a pretty hard day. The last week wasn't too bad, although the week before was. The last week was probably as bad as it's been emotionally. I felt like I was a complete wreck at work, although I tried to not let it show. We got the pictures that were taken at the hospital. I am glad that we have them. They are very sad, but comforting that I will never forget what you looked like on the day we saw you.

We went to LA this weekend to see your brother and sister. It was a hard trip for your mom and I. This would have been the first trip we would have probably taken you on. Driving back today was a big reminder of how I feel I'm a failure as a father, sometimes I feel like maybe that's why you were taken away. Maybe I'll never get the chance to be a real father. I don't see your brother and sister as much as I wish I could. I spent Father's day driving away from them and without you. I didn't hear "Happy Father's Day" from your brother or sister. I think those were the only two I really wanted to hear it from. I am glad that nobody else has really said anything, there's really nothing happy about it at all.

Scott