Mother's Day....

Dear Stephanie,

I know I normally write to Sawyer but I felt today it was appropriate to write to you. I want you and Sawyer to know how much I truly think of you.

You are without a doubt one of the strongest people I know. I understand that sometimes you don't feel that way, but it is true. Being strong doesn't mean you won't feel sad. Being strong doesn't mean you won't cry. Somedays you might even feel like you won't be able to make it, but that doesn't mean you aren't strong.

If I was in your position I have no idea how I would make it. While we both have lost our daughter, we are not going through the same experience.  I have been a father for some years, and have been through a lot of the experiences you were looking forward to.  While I feel "robbed", it's not on the same level as I imagine you feel.

I know today has been really hard. I could see the pain in your face when the woman asked you if you were a mother this morning. I know how excited you were to have Sawyer, to finally be a mother. I even think you sometimes looked forward to changing diapers and cleaning up spit up. I'm glad that we were able to get away for a weekend, to spend time with each other. In some ways it felt like we were back to "normal" but I know for us, normal now is not what our normal was.

I look forward to continue building my life with you. We will have so many good experiences to come and I'm excited to go through them with you.

Love, Scott