Dear Sawyer,
I think the whole "stages" of grief theory is probably created by people who have never actually been through something like this. I think everyone handles grief differently and that it isn't always that you move from one stage to the next. I think you can sometimes be going through two of the stages at the same time. I think you can also move back and forth between "stages".
I have noticed a difference though in the past couple days. I feel like I'm walking through molasses. I think a lot of the shock is worn off and now it's time to deal with the reality of it all. Ever since we found out that you were coming I had wanted you to wait until today to be born. I wanted to share my birthday with you. Tonight we are having a bowling party of sorts. On one hand I am excited for it, but I'd almost rather just cancel the whole thing, forget that it's my birthday and just go curl up somewhere. I feel like it would be really easy for me to just shut down right now. It would be so easy to just let the grief overcome me. I'm walking on the edge of a cliff. There are times when it is only my family, friends, or faith in God that are keeping me from going over the edge.
Dad
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