It's been a month...

Dear Sawyer,

It's been a month and a couple days. I can't believe it's already been this long although it still seems like things just happened. I know it's been a few days since I've written. I know that you know I still think about you constantly. Your mom and I went to California this past weekend to see Kelsey and Kaiden. I know it was a really hard trip for your mom. I was concentrating on staying awake and driving. We brought some things down for Kelsey and Kaiden; a lock of your hair, some pictures, a mold of your feet, and they each got a wristband that said brother/sister of an angel. On the way back from California we stopped by your grave. It was one of the harder visits I've made. I don't like thinking that you are there. I want you in my arms even if that means not getting sleep and changing diapers. There are times when I feel an overwhelming urge to drive down there and see you although usually it's at times when I wouldn't be able too. I can not imagine ever moving away from the area, I don't think I could handle it.

Work has become a little easier. I still have sad moments where I don't feel like I can do much of anything, but it's not happening constantly. Your mom started work today and I know it's been really hard for her.

I miss you,

Dad